Second Life

The quote above is a famous quote from Confucius, an ancient Chinese philosopher. This quote is interesting for me because I agree with it and already experienced it. Of course not in a literal way in which I died and got resurrected, obviously we are not in some kind of a fantasy movie and sort of.

Let me tell you why I agree with the above quote.

A major conception of life saying that it spins like a wheel, we live a one time period of life where we will sometimes go up and the other time we go down, yea maybe except for those who is born with an exclusive privilege, they might sometimes go down, but, well, only like tripped over a pebble, not really like those who are struggling their whole life.

“But that’s not completely like that, I mean, even those who is born with privilege could possibly suffer a devastative fallout in life, because that is not always about money, wealth or any other material. For example, a boy who was born in a privileged family, a rich reputable doctor family, grew up being shaped to be a doctor to continue and inherit the family tradition, but then along the way found his passion, his purpose of life, to be a writer. This condition could make that boy’s life going down the hill, regardless his wealth and any other privilege, but to eventually against the idea of being a doctor embedded by his family and choose to be a writer would not be easy for him, especially when his family is extremely strict about it. See, that is not always about money.”

“Well okay I agree, let’s conclude that generally speaking, everyone go ups and downs in life, and we continue from there, shall we?”

Often in life, we face difficulties in many ways, but there are some difficulties that concern us more than usual, it makes us really weary and overwhelmed, it could as well cause us to feel stuck and lost, much worse it could lead to a depression. However, have you ever experience something so overwhelming and depressive that made you feel like dying, wanting to give up and lost? Something you could call your lowest point in life. Have you ever experienced that? This point is what I concern about in this writing.

To me, fortunately this happened. More fortunately, I survived.

I believe that there is one time, for each of everyone of us, when we will suffer so bad in any way that it makes us depressed. Work, social life, family matter, love life, finance, anything could be the root of the adversary that burdens us. Although I pretty much aware of the fact that those things are in a vast range of distinction from one person to another, but still I believe we all have, are, or will go through a particular hardest time in life. However, no matter how hard the situation is, no matter how hurtful the torment we feel at the moment, that won’t last forever if you decide it not to. I believe in being realistic, that’s my stance, because I know a lot of people out there are saying things like “stay strong, hard time doesn’t last forever”, which I understand the point but those words are too fancy for my realistic stance.

Okay look, hard time requires us to strive harder, hard time is our opponent and to beat the opponent, we have to punch back harder. Well okay I get it, sometimes people use the term “storm” as the imagery of hard time, and a storm is indeed doesn’t last. However, to me hard time is much more complicated than a storm, as I said it’s like an opponent which we have to beat. That’s why the term “hard time doesn’t last” is kind of naive to me because the opponent will keep on beating us, it’s either we give up or we fight back and emerge victorious.

If you might have noticed, I use the term “hard time” which is a singular, instead of “hard times”, because again, there is one point in life when it’s so hard, much harder than ever, which we can all agree as the lowest point in life. Although I know adversity doesn’t come just one time, it’s constant and it’s a part of our life which we have to embrace but yea there is one lowest point in life that I specifically concern about.

This kind of time drains our energy so much just to deal with our self and we tend to retreat to recalibrate everything to make it all plausible. When we are in this depressed zone, yea I know this isn’t the best term but well never mind, we contemplate to figure things out and find a way to the end of the deadlock. In the process of finding a way out and to fight back, we might reach out for help, seek professional assistance and so on, we would do anything necessary in order to survive.

After everything we might have tried and eventually survived, we later continue our life with a new way of thinking, a new plan, new perspectives, we might go a different way after a very hard time we survived. This is what I call a second life, it’s like we were born again to a new mind that see things differently after we endured such pain, hard time, and lowest point in life. This major change in life will play a significant role in determining how we will live our life ahead.

Some people might change their personality drastically because the hard time really change the way they see the world and everything about it, and the output of survival makes them looks different to other people. They might turn into a cold person, much calmer than before but more perceptive to surroundings. Meanwhile other people might change otherwise, become a cheerful person, and look happier than ever.

The hard time can make us realize that we really only have one life, so we strive so hard to survive and when we eventually survive, it actually looks like we are given a second chance, a second life to live on, and we are gonna go through the second one differently. That’s why some people say “we are not the same after we survive our lowest point in life”.

I have gone through this phase in life around two years ago, and I can say that I’m not the same person now. I lost so much back then, I lost myself, I was suicidal, I even tried to drug myself to death, but after I survived all that, I see the world differently. I value people differently, and much more importantly, I value myself differently.

Have you experienced the same thing? If you have, then lets cheers to a life to keep on living to. If you are in this phase, struggling with all your might to survive, I wish you the strength enough to keep on fighting, I wish you a victorious ending to your struggle. And if you have not yet struggle in this phase, it’s not necessarily that you have to, no pal, I wish you a happy life ahead without having to struggle a freaking hard time like I did or any other people.

Well at last, we all truly want our life to be happy, peaceful and stable but such things don’t happen easily, tend to not happen at all, we fight our own battle in life. However, I wish you all to be strong and reliable to yourself, because we can have a lot of people around us but in the end, we have to be ready when it’s us alone fighting. Seeking help is important, likewise helping others, but remember that the first person worth looking out for is yourself.

Be well guys 😊😊

Alfrid

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